Mayhem Top Ten
Howdy and welcome to Monsters and Mayhem…It’s Mayhem Tuesday!
I’ve been thinking about ordinary things that, to me, have the potential to become mayhem in the blink of an eye. For example, letting the crazier of my two cats loose with a catnip-filled toy in the house. If you’ve ever met Katie-the-Mighty, you’d know I was skating the edge of dangerous with that idea.
That let me to dream up my top ten Mayhem Makers:
10. Letting a six-year-old “cook” macaroni. That pot will never be the same again, but we did manage to get rid of the smell of burnt noodles after a few weeks.
9. Justin Bieber walking into any mall in the Midwest on a Saturday afternoon.
8. Having a birthday party for a group of 5-year-old boys at home on a rainy day. I don’t think this needs more explanation.
7. Letting a group of electrical engineers go out for drinks, then handing them a robot-builder kit.
6. Throwing fake vomit into a pool in the ‘Burbs. You’ll hear the screaming for miles.
5. Announcing to a large group of fans gathered at the motor-speedway that the Nascar race has been cancelled. Mass hysteria will ensure, I promise you.
4. Only half-paying attention when your 11-year-old walks by with a bag of firecrackers, an action figure, and safety glasses, muttering something about a science experiment.
3. Telling fanboys that LucasFilms has sold the rights to Star Wars to Disney. (This one has been proven true…just look at all the commentary out there.)
2. The threat of an ice storm in Dallas. Grocery store shelves will empty, the nightly news will provide dire warnings about driving on slick roads and weird dudes will wear sandwich boards proclaiming the end is nigh.
And the number one mayhem maker is….
1. Babysitting more than one toddler at a time. They move faster than you think, can climb furniture like spider monkeys, and their every thought is geared to, “Would would happen if I do this?” If you lose one and it seems awfully quiet, prepare for imminent mayhem.
Well, there’s my list…what’s on yours?