Traveling Blues

Hey there! It’s Friday Rambles on Monsters and Mayhem…which means open mike night, so to speak.

In honor of the week I’ve had, I decided to do a post about air-travel. I travel a fair bit for work. Not anything like George Clooney in Up in the Air, but usually at least once every month or two. This week, however, has been the craziest week of travel I’ve ever had. Monday I flew from Dallas to Columbus. Tuesday night I flew from Columbus to Minneapolis (it was very cold there, yah). Wednesday afternoon it was a puddle jumper from Minneapolis to Nashville. Thursday it took TWO puddle jumpers to get me from Nashville back to Columbus via Chicago (I hate O’Hare, y’all). And today…today I fly home to Dallas.  *Sighs in relief*  But count ’em up folks — that’s SIX flights in five days. My body clock has no idea what time zone I’m in and neither does the clock on my laptop. I’ll be really glad to get home and hug my kids, kiss my husband, be ignored by my cats and sleep in my own bed.

With all that traveling, though, one is bound to run into a few peeves on the journey, so I thought I’d compile a list of things I saw/experienced for your amusement.

Kendra’s Top Five Air Travel Peeves

1.  Taking up the entire counter at the security prep line.  We’re all tired, in a hurry, and a little creeped out by the frisky looking TSA agent with the metal-detector wand. Spreading all your worldly goods out on the counter when ten people are waiting behind you just to get buckets for their shoes is a tad inconsiderate. It also might throw that really tense road-warrior-salesman-guy behind me into a rage and I don’t want to be collateral damage. So have a heart–scoot up and give us some room too.  I promise I won’t take your stuff.

2. Being a Germy Von Germstein.  I get it. It’s the middle of winter and people have colds. Heck, I do too. But…please don’t cough all over people on the plane, in the terminal or at baggage claim.  I’m talking to you, dude who coughed on my head while I was sitting in the terminal and you walked by spewing germs.  Can a girl get some Lysol wipes and vitamin C, stat?

3. Taking out a group of people to be first off the plane.  I totally understand if you have a connection and are in a real hurry. If you ask us, we’ll totally let you by. But former-linebacker-in-high-school-guy?  You don’t have to bowl over that seventy-year-old lady to depart the aircraft first. If you would’ve said please and thank you, you would’ve avoided the wrath of that flight attendant for your rude behavior.  Just saying.

4.  Hogging the baggage claim.  You know those people. The ones who stand right in front of the chute, ready to catch their suitcase the second it hits the belt?  Who cares if no one else can get close…they are getting their bag, by God! Yeah, just…don’t.

5.  Charging Station Hoarders  This is a new breed of icky traveler–the ones who sit in the seats with the electrical outlets and proceed to plug in every device they own. Ask if you might share one, and they’ll usually say, “Sorry, I’m using them,” in a tone that suggests you are gum on their shoe.  Because, obviously, your dead laptop that holds the presentation you’re delivering an hour after your flight lands isn’t important enough to allow you to use their outlets.

Okay, so this was a totally ranty post. Truly, I’ve had some wonderful experiences with my fellow travelers. If the plane is stalled on the runway, I’ve yet to experience mob violence. Instead, we all crack jokes about how much it sucks and laugh about it. We talk about our hometowns, our best vacations and what we’ll do when we get off the freaking plane.  Heck, a pilot once gave up his steak dinner (they ate from the first class menu) to the person who most closely guessed the total weight of the luggage loaded on our flight, just to keep us entertained during a mechanical issue.  The guy across the aisle from me–in coach–had a filet once we were in the air.

How about you? Good experiences? Bad ones? Crazy travelers?  Share in the comments — we want to hear them!

2 comments

  • Categorize this one as you will. I’m going with weird.

    So the family is sitting in the terminal waiting for a connecting flight home. The boy, then eight, is on my right and we’re going over his spelling words. The girl, then five, is on my left and Hubby has the seat on her other side. My daughter is standing by my seat, but in my peripheral vision. A flight attendant walks up and says, “Excuse me, do you know your little girl just pulled down her pants?” She then goes on to lecture my daughter and me about proper public behavior, and the reaction of potential perverts in said public.

    Talk about your wtf moment.

    My daughter fervently denied flashing our fellow happy travelers. Though she might have been too ashamed to admit it at that point. I know she didn’t drop her drawers to her ankles, but she might have scratched an itch and revealed a little butt cleavage. I don’t know. But that was a weird encounter.

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